Can you tell which one is the big sister?
Josie helping Clara Rose get some play dough toys to play with all the while explaining to Clara Rose that she needs help because she is little and Josie can help her because she is big.
Josie made some playdough yogurt and was trying to feed *baby sister* Rose.
Rose wasn't too interested.
Josie scooping out a better spoon of the playdough yogurt she made for Rose.
Josie explaining to Rose that she needs to eat her yogurt and that Josie needs to feed her because she is little and Josie is big. All the while Josie is calling Clara Rose, baby sister or Sister Rose.
Josie explaining to me that Sister Rose is little and doesn't even know how to eat her yogurt.
At this point, I think Clara Rose things Josie is completely off her rocker!
Josie getting firm with Clara Rose and letting her know that she (Josie) knows best.
Clara Rose is actively ignoring her at this point.
Clara Rose decided to move on to a different toy.
The playdough thing with the yogurt was starting to creep her out.
Never Fear, Clara Rose, Your big Sis is right there, keeping tabs on you, playdough yogurt in hand!
More explaining from Josie about her being big and Clara Rose being small and that she needs to eat her yogurt.
This was a good afternoon-- yesterday, not so much.
Josie returned to Pre-school this week so I can have some one-on-one time with Clara Rose. This has really been great for Clara Rose's attachment to me. Unfortunately, I think Josie has realized that while she is at Preschool, Clara Rose is spending the day with me.
Yesterday after we returned home with Josie from Preschool, Josie took every opportunity to: hit, grab toys, shove, pull-- you name it. Just about every 5-10 minutes it was something else. At this point, I am not a big fan of Wim's Bullies-2-Buddies method. I am going to hit the bookstore later on today and pick up 1-2-3 Magic. I've heard from a couple Mom-friends that it has worked well for them.
Wim and I don't really believe in capital punishment and we realize that much of Josie's behavior is jealousy and she feels threatened. I am making time for special time with Josie-- I think that would work even better if I could spend one-on-one time with her when we first get home in the afternoon, but Wim isn't home yet so it is difficult.
I did take Josie to a family swim last night. The timing of that is just before bedtime, which later in the evening, close to bedtime, so the desired effect is kind of lost due to the timing.
During the car ride we talked a little bit and Josie told me she feels mad.
I am guessing she is mad that she now has a baby sister who gets to stay home with Mommy.
All I know is that Josie, at heart, is a compassionate, loving, caring, happy, little girl and I want to get more of this back!
2 comments:
I think this is the first situation in her life where Josie feels she has to really establish that she is the dominant one, and she doesn't really know how to go about it, so she shoves and grabs. In childhood older siblings are usually dominant, they just have to learn how to do it in a socially acceptable way. I think this post shows how she's trying to talk more to Clara Rose about how she 'knows better' and is 'bigger' -so she is moving in a good direction. CR shows she is pretty receptive and wants to learn from Josie, (until the playdough is put to her lips!) The fact is, the shoving and grabbing hasn't really worked for Josie. Clara Rose cries loudly in her face or fights, and she doesn't appear afraid at all. I am not there all day so I don't have to deal with it as much, so all my talk may seem annoying to MOmmy, but as long as Mommy and I keep them both safe without oveprotecting the 'baby', remain CALM and not get all uppity and moral, these two baby primates will work it out. They are both bright and they will learn without us doing much of anything. Clara Rose is just too tough to be beaten into submission, as are most kids. And she's also almost always happy, generally 3 seconds after a skirmish with Josie she's moved on.
Wim
Hi Reena,
Oh the joys of parenthood. We all knew what we were getting into right? Our youngest is 11 and a boy, and we are dealing with some of the same issues. He is jealous of all the lap time Faith is getting, and said to me the other day, "she's taken my spot on your lap?" My hubby then replies, " Dude you are almost 12! You are too big for her lap." It's nice to know we are loved, even if it creates some jealousy! Best wishes!
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